Some Advice From The Guys

So yeah, this past week was really shitty. Thus, lack of posts. There's been a lot of crying and being sad and depressed, but I think I really turned a corner this weekend.

It started out on Friday. I saw some stuff on Facebook, yes Facebook, that made me upset and so when I'm upset I need to talk to people because when I get to that point it's not good for me to be alone because then I do stupid things. Anyway, I had called Silas but he didn't answer, so I called Adam to see if Silas was with him and ended up talking to Adam, of all people, about this for a while. He had this great quote that now I don't think I will ever forget. We'd been talking about crying and I said I'd rarely seen him cry, and there was only actually one time I could ever recall him being really close to tears, but then he said this to me: "I almost cried when a big piece of shrapnel hit my foot and I thought I lost it. But then I looked down and saw it was still there. So what I'm trying to say is, you need to find your foot and stop crying, capiche?" It was just so perfect, and such an Adam thing to say. And he's right. Then he went on about how I need to have some random sex and get high. He also said I have only two more weeks total to be upset and then he's coming here and burning everything that could potentially make me cry. Well, we hung up and I was starting to feel better, but I called Brett to see what he was doing that night and he was getting ready to go home and I was bummed cuz I thought I might want to get dinner...you know how I get when I am upset, I don't eat, you all know the drill, cuz you've been through it with me before...but anyway we hang up and I'm still kinda shakey but better than I had been, thank God for my friends. A while later Brett calls back and is like, let's get food, you need to eat something. We get some grub and I talked to him about what Adam said, and Brett enlightened me on a few things that help to make the last few months of my life a little clearer. He also said he agreed with Adam, maybe I do need to do some things I've never done before, maybe not the random sex (ew)* or smoking a bowl (no one I know has pot right now, to my knowledge anyway)** and maybe he was right. Anyway, then we ended up going to meet JohnRoss at Circuit City, then we went to Gamers and Best Buy (BTW, I wanted to get the new Julie Roberts cd, because her first was so amazing I kind of bought this one on blind faith and am so glad I did, she is amazing. It's called 'Men and Mascara'. SO GREAT.) I was trying to decide between the copy of Sublime's double disc set and Maroon 5, and ended up going with Maroon 5 because Brett got the Sublime one, which I honestly might still go back for later today. JohnRoss left us after Best Buy, so Brett and I came back to my apt, I grabbed the 40 of King Cobra Silas had left here, and we went to his apartment where his roommate Evan and their friend Tim were hanging out. We all drank and watched movies, but eventually my 40 ran out and so did their booze so we made a trip to the grocery store - King Cobra is so hard to find! I ended up with a 40 of High Life but whatev. We drank, we watched The Hills Have Eyes, which was freaky, and I was sitting on the couch between Brett and Evan because I needed someone to use to cover my eyes during the scary or icky parts. Brett decided I wasn't allowed to cuddle him anymore which was sad, because I didn't know Evan that well, but hey, he was there so during the icky parts I used him instead. Good times. Brett went to sleep first, and we stayed up and watched more movies, Tim left around 4 or so and Evan and I talked for a little bit. About what, I could not tell you, because I'd had two 40s in a short amount of time. I slept on an not so comfy couch, even though I thought about going into Brett's room and just pushing him over and sleeping in there with him, or making him sleep on the couch, but he was really tired and I wasn't in the mood to be mean.

Pretty much the next day was the same, without the drinking so much, at least for me. We all woke up, Brett and I got some food, because my appetite was coming back a little bit even though I didn't eat as much as I normally could at Chipotle, (drool). We rented some movies at Blockbuster and went back to his apartment again, because mine was too hot since I'd turned the air off the night before. I ended up getting Red Eye, The Family Stone, and The Notebook. The Notebook was kind of accidental, since they were having a 3 movies for ten dollars special. Incidentally, all three movies have Rachel McAdams in them, which was also not on purpose, but now the manager of Blockbuster thinks I'm a lesbian because Brett said I had a crush on her. Can't help it, she's hott. Let me clarify however, that I am not actually a lesbian. It's just easier for some people than others to admit when a person of the same sex is attractive. Just because she is attractive doesn't mean I want to have sex with her, I still very much enjoy guys.

Anyway, that's a whole different topic.

So we're watching Superman and Tim shows up again and Evan is grilling and then out of the blue Brett decides he's going home that night instead of Sunday, so I was sad. We were in the middle of watching 'Maverick' though, so I was going to leave when it was over but we just kept watching more movies and I didn't get out of there til two. It kinda sucked because I worked at 10.

Sunday I get home from work and my dumb ass realizes I left two of the dvds I'd rented at Brett's place. He was gone and I don't know Evan's number, but I didn't want to just make the trip if no one was home cuz Brett lives kinda out there, way over on West O, so I called him, he called Evan, and I went to pick up the dvds, because they had to be back today and I hadn't even watched them all yet. Well, of course I ended up hanging out for a while, which I guess can count for my "doing stuff I don't normally do" regimen that Adam and Brett think I need, because I don't normally hang out with random people.

Now I guess the question is, what else did I do this weekend that I don't normally do? Or am I full of crap, and was just the same old Sarah I have always been and always will be?

Hmmm, I guess you'll never know.

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* I am certainly, by no means, against sex in general. However, the idea of random does not appeal to me. I am not one of those people who can go to a bar and hook up with a random guy. I think it's gross. You never really know people, and honestly you can't trust most of them. And of the guys I have actually had sex with (it's not as high a number as some of you might think, jerks) ALL of them, I have known through friends so they were not random. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named I met through Britt, etc; Adam I met because of Crazy Rachel; and Drake I met because of Brett. That said, I just wanted to clarify: I really do not think sex is a big dramatic deal all the time. I think it's definitely a good idea to actually be in love with the person you have sex with because it really does make it amazing, but it is not a necessity. I was completely butt-crazy truly deeply in love with Drake and it was amazing. I know for a fact I was not remotely in love with he-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, though I certainly liked him at one point very early on. And Adam? Well, I thought I did love him, but after Drake, and seeing the difference in the two relationships, honestly, it was not the kind of love it was with Drake. Adam was something else entirely, much more just about the sex I guess and that's pretty much all it was, at least by the second and third time around. But now I love him like I love my other close friends, which I know is weird, but I covered that in another post a few weeks ago, because Kayleen and I had that whole conversation about it. But anyway, sex is not good or bad, it's part of human nature, so deal with it. It's a very wonderful thing, so you might as well enjoy it and get some when you can - though yes, love is always a plus.

**I have never been against smoking pot, though some people assume I feel that it is wrong or bad, or whatever. I've just never actually had the opportunity to do so. It doesn't matter to me much either way, so whatev.